This is a little rant I'm afraid. I know it's basically my fault BUT!!!!!

Sometimes when at clients premises, I have to use a series of rescue/installation discs to resolve an issue.

Sometimes, it can take quite a few hours to sort out the multiple problems people allow to accumulate on their computer before seeking professional help. A lot of which is helped along by the 'bar room fixers' who know absolutely sod all in real terms about much at all.

They don't know what the real problem is because they've not seen it and clients rarely know how to describe the problem fully anyway - not that there's anything wrong with that, I don't expect it.

The client then goes and mis-follows the wrong advice they've been given and make an even bigger dogs breakfast of the whole thing and after they've totally screwed their computer, they call me.

Now to the point of my rant.

After I've spent hours sorting out the cock-up, I put my things back in my bag (or so I think) and head off home. Some days, or even weeks, later I open my bag looking for the discs to find that I've accidentally left at my clients.

The annoying thing is the client, who now has a full set of service and recovery discs that I've paid for, and doesn't have a clue in hell how to use them, hasn't had the decency to ring me and let me know I've left them. This has happened every time I've done it.

I now have to go through the time and expense of getting a new set of dics together.

ONE THING YOU GET FROM ME IS HONESTY, IF YOU CAN'T RETURN THE FAVOUR THEN YOU DON'T DESERVE THE SERVICES I OFFER.

​I will work out where I left them and that person will have a heavy bill next time they call me!

It just goes to show, there's a lot of really dishonest immigrants out there.

From Jon after moving in to Gran Alicant this week:

"Thanks Clive for your excellent services in setting up internet, phone and TV. Would recommend you whole heartedly to anyone moving to the area."  

Whilst I didn't quite set up his internet, we had a long chat and discussed the best options in his area for his circumstances. Jon originally contacted me for internet but I didn't have the right package for his intended usage pattern so after talking things through, we chose his local provider who have some good deals going and will hopefully be reliable.

I supplied the phone system which he will be able to alternate between Spain and Switzerland as he wishes. Anyone ringing his number will be able to get through to him regardless of where he is in the world without any call forwarding charges to either party.

Jon can also get his free calls wherever he is in the world. Try getting that anywhere else!

I was also able to source an IPTV box, from one of my colleagues. That gives Jon all the UK channels he wants and can also be equipped with UK catch-up TV as well.

The bottom line is, I endeavour to provide a good customer experience wherever possible. Many have tried to copy my work ethic and many have failed.

How many of you out there have noticed the free windows 10 upgrade notice lurking near the clock down in the bottom right of your screen?

One of my clients did, and they decided to take advantage of it. Oooops.

Don't get me wrong, it's very easy to do the update but that's when your problems will begin and, to make matters worse, microsoft know all about the problems you're going to experience.

As with any update, always back up your stuff, all your photos, those letters to the solicitors and all the other stuff you've accumulated on your trusty computer.

Now you need to make sure you have all the drivers for all the bits you've got bolted on to the computer as well because chances are, they ain't gonna work after the upgrade.

The problems we had included deleted drivers for the pci-e usb3 card, printer not working, machine taking more than 10 minutes to boot up. No, it's not an old pc unless you call 8 months old. Win10 is supposed to work on old machinery.

OK, supposing you've managed to get everything working in windoze 10 and you decide you don't like it, how can you get rid of it?

Well, that's supposed to be easy too. You go to the start menu, go to settings, then update and security then recovery. There you'll be given the option to revert back to win7 (or 8) but don't bank on that working either. On my clients machine, it simply would not roll back to windoze 7 and kept defaulting back to 10 saying there was a problem.

Don't get me wrong, not everyone will have a screwed machine after doing the 'upgrade' but if you are, well.........


Search the internet, it's a known problem and the ONLY answer is to reinstall your previous version of windoze from your disc, your motherboard drivers and all the discs for the bits you've got bolted onto it.

Not got your windoze or motherboard discs? Oh bugger, you're in real bother now. You've got win10 and stuff that don't work and no way of getting back to what you had before without forking out for a new copy of windoze. That's a bit of a shitter innit.

I've just spent the best part of a day recovering a computer back to it's previous state because of the damage caused by microsoft. Having to source obscure drivers because the original pc builder didn't give any discs to the client.

From what I've seen of win10, I'm not impressed. It's yet another learning curve to try and work out where everything is. Haven't the people at microsoft-in-the-head heard the old saying - if it ain't broke, don't fix it. We've moved on from a menu system that was easy to work to something that isn't, and they call that progress.

So for now, ladies and gentlemen, keep away from the win10 free upgrade until they've got the bugs out of it. When will that be? Give it at least 6 months and definitely not before service pack 1.


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What the heck am I talking about. There isn't such a thing!?

Strictly speaking, that is the case but every now and again scones, clotted cream, jam and a cup of tea comes along.

What we are doing again this year, is free phone calls on January 1st 2015 for our clients as a thank you for their continued support.

Rules of the game:

• All calls made on January 1st 2015 will be deducted from your account balance as normal.
• We will then refund all calls made on January 1st 2015 back to your account during the seven days following January 1st 2015. Those managing their own accounts will be able to see the refund on their transaction history.

I'm getting more and more calls from people asking me to supply them with 20M internet.

Why?

Because they've bought one of these stupid IPTV boxes and it doesn't work on their current internet providers 6M connection.

More and more people are falling for the IPTV box scam. I've been asked by one of the 'budget' phone suppliers to sell their products including ................. IPTV boxes.

Guess what I told them to do with the boxes. Yep, stick 'em where the sun don't shine. They don't believe me when I tell them they'll never work until they sort out the internet and the contention ratios (how many people who share an internet connection at the exchange) but my concerns are proving to be fact.

Current contention ratios are such that you share your 6M with 49 other people for domestic clients and 24 others on a business connection (that's why business internet costs a lot more).

When there's only a few of you streaming mountains of data through your IPTV boxes, it'll just about cope but as those numbers increase, the system will either collapse or your internet provider will put the brakes on your streaming, which in turn means your IPTV boxes won't work.

Because the ex-pat fraternity are so obsessed with watching TV, hundreds of scammers have sprung up selling IPTV boxes for obscene amounts because they know you're going to pay it.

It costs them money to pay for servers to keep your boxes running and it takes a bit of technical know-how to set them up. These people have neither. They pay the deposit for the server, sell loads of boxes (making nearly €100 a box) then disappear and move on to the next town.

One hour watching live TV through the internet consumes around 700Mb of data - enough to supply an 'average' household for at least a week.

Data has to be paid for by somebody. Your internet provider sets their systems and prices based on the 'average' household. As more and more of you become 'abnormal' users, only two things can happen. Their network collapses and/or the price goes up.

What I see to be one of the biggest issues here in Spain is the ex-pat communities EXPECT to get the services they would get in their home countries at the same level of pricing. Wake up, it aint ever going to happen. The majority of Spanish networks were never designed to be used as they are now and upgrading them costs many many millions.

This is Spain, stop expecting something for nothing, accept that legitimate traders have small fortunes to pay in taxes and other fees and have all sorts of hoops to jump through to stay legal. I'm not suggesting that paying €600 for €200 worth of satellite TV kit is acceptable, what I am saying is that, as with all things in life, you need to carry out due diligence checks.

Use your legal, registered traders as you have recourse if they sell you a pup. All these illegal IPTV scammers don't give a fig once they've got your money. You can't get a refund and you'll never find them once they've moved on as they use false details.


All opinions in this article are those of the author.

Just when we thought Tooway satellite internet was going well, they throw away their feather ...... and replace it with an even bigger one to go with their bigger hat.

What the heck am I talking about?????

OK, just when we thought Tooway had some good deals out there, what do they do, throw them away and bring us some even better deals.         Yahayyyyyy

Get a load of this - 26M internet (20M down, 6M up) for ONLY .............. €29.90 a month including taxes!!!!!!!!   AND, there's no 2 year contract to contend with.

If that wasn't enough, you can even disconnect at ANY time you want then reconnect it later making this the ideal system for people with holiday homes or the globetrotters out there who have two or more homes*.

This is pay as you go satellite internet for just €29.90 a month. How good is that!?!?!  I don't know anyone else who can give you an offer that comes close.

Additionally, you can currently have your 26M satellite internet and VoIP phone service installed for a paltry €169.

Why are you still reading this, stop wasting time, click here, and get yourself connected to one of the best deals around.

* You don't have to have a holiday home for this, it's just an example - YOU can have it.

We know our VoIP service works with Tooway because 40% of our VoIP clients are using it but we cannot guarantee that other VoIP providers services will. We know Vonage refuse to sign you up if you have satellite internet so we can only assume their service doesn't work. How do we know, we've just signed up a client who was refused a Vonage account for this very reason.

All brand names and registered trade marks acknowledged.

Hello everybody.

Please be advised that we are starting to get booked up for April, so if you think your PC has a problem, or you're considering taking up one of our other services then please contact us now or we may not be able to get you sorted before we go.

You might even miss out on our FREE telephone install offer available for this month only if you don't get in now! Check our Special Offer page for more details.

Please don't leave it until the last minute and miss out.

That's right, 100% discount - free - gratis - nada - nothing.

Now's the time to get your free phone installation (normally €59.95) when you sign up through us for your Tooway 26M (20M download 6M upload) satellite internet.

Never has it been easier to get connected with high speed satellite internet and a phone than it is today with installation starting as low as €169.00 + IVA. NO LANDLINE NEEDED.

Tooway satellite internet gives you a UK IP address meaning it's possible to use BBC & ITV catchup services without using a VPN or that horrible expat shield.

So why not check out our offers today and get your order in as time is limited to April installations only.

All brand names and registered trade marks acknowledged.

Over the past few months, I've been extolling the virtues of a wonderful website that allows all us ex-pats to view live UK TV without the need to do anything special, and without the need for satellite TV installations. This website is www.filmon.com. It seems that Filmon are now only able to offer live UK TV in the UK. This is probably down to licencing regulations and the fact that to receive licenced UK TV broadcasts, you should be paying for a licence.

This issue does NOT affect any of our Satellite Internet clients as they all have a UK Internet address.

Currently, anyone residing outside the UK should not be able to watch live UK TV. Scream and shout as much as you like, that is how it is. So why can other nationalities get away with it then - you ask. Well, that's because they don't have the same licencing regulations as the UK so as to provide you with honest and impartial reporting of world events (for most of the time, that is).

So, you don't live in the UK BUT, you want to watch live UK TV (shame on you ;-) ). How do you go about it?

You can always fork out for a satellite dish and receiver and buy a forged sky card, you can pay for an illegal card sharing setup, you can pay one of the many illegal re-broadcasters who pop up all over the place - and disappear just as quickly with your money or you can watch live UK TV through the Internet, either directly from the broadcasters website or from an aggregators website such as www.myiplayer.com.

When I try to watch TV on the broadcasters website, it tells me it's not available in my region. Of course it does, because it's illegal to watch it outside the UK - because it's licenced for the UK only! Please pay attention, I'm getting to that.

OK smart a**e, how's it done? I'll tell you. You use something called a VPN (Virtual Private Network) that fools the website into believing you are in the UK.

How can I get one? There are many free one available along with some relatively cheap ones (5.00 GBP a month). I have personally used a 5GBP one from www.my-private-network.co.uk and it works fine, and they give you a full setup guide with pictures. We have also used the free "Best UK VPN Service" and find that works very well also.

What I do find a lot of - and have to uninstall a lot of - is Expat Shield. Whilst Expat Shield may be free, it's backed by advertisers, it also installs a 'handy' toolbar. Anybody who knows me knows how I feel about third party 'handy' toolbars. They're very handy at breaking things (as many of my clients can testify) and should be banned.

To get the "Best UK VPN Service", it is available from the myiplater.com website on the "catchup" page.

In my opinion, the only thing handy about Expat Shield is the ability to click a few buttons and it installs itself, along with the c**p it comes with. I used it for a couple of days then got rid of it and it will never darken my PC again. Not to be totally negative about this product, I do have customers who think it's marvelous, brilliant and all sorts of other positive adjectives.

Oh, I forgot to mention this option - Slingbox. An ideal option for those with relatives in the UK with a Sky/Cable subscription.

How does that work then? Well, it's intended for people on holiday who would normally be paying for their UK licence but they're not currently using it because they're on holiday and no one is in the house watching TV. That way, you're not breaking your licence agreement and it's legal.

It works by connecting a Slingbox to a Sky/Cable TV box in the UK. You then connect the Slingbox to your internet router. Whilst you're (ahem) 'away', you can watch your Sky/Cable package on your laptop or you would take something with you called a Sling Catcher. Sling Catcher is like a set top box that plugs into the Internet and the TV you're going to be watching. It then transports all your programs from the UK to where you are.

If that all sounds like black magic then when you've got the kit from Currys/PC World, just drop Sling Media support a line from their website and they'll set it all up for you. So that's the Slingbox in the UK, and SlingCatcher over here.

If you would like any more info, please feel free to drop us a line or comment below.

I have no connection to any of the products mentioned in this article.

All brand names and registered trade marks belong to their respective owners - not me.