This is a little rant I'm afraid. I know it's basically my fault BUT!!!!!

Sometimes when at clients premises, I have to use a series of rescue/installation discs to resolve an issue.

Sometimes, it can take quite a few hours to sort out the multiple problems people allow to accumulate on their computer before seeking professional help. A lot of which is helped along by the 'bar room fixers' who know absolutely sod all in real terms about much at all.

They don't know what the real problem is because they've not seen it and clients rarely know how to describe the problem fully anyway - not that there's anything wrong with that, I don't expect it.

The client then goes and mis-follows the wrong advice they've been given and make an even bigger dogs breakfast of the whole thing and after they've totally screwed their computer, they call me.

Now to the point of my rant.

After I've spent hours sorting out the cock-up, I put my things back in my bag (or so I think) and head off home. Some days, or even weeks, later I open my bag looking for the discs to find that I've accidentally left at my clients.

The annoying thing is the client, who now has a full set of service and recovery discs that I've paid for, and doesn't have a clue in hell how to use them, hasn't had the decency to ring me and let me know I've left them. This has happened every time I've done it.

I now have to go through the time and expense of getting a new set of dics together.

ONE THING YOU GET FROM ME IS HONESTY, IF YOU CAN'T RETURN THE FAVOUR THEN YOU DON'T DESERVE THE SERVICES I OFFER.

​I will work out where I left them and that person will have a heavy bill next time they call me!

It just goes to show, there's a lot of really dishonest immigrants out there.

From Jon after moving in to Gran Alicant this week:

"Thanks Clive for your excellent services in setting up internet, phone and TV. Would recommend you whole heartedly to anyone moving to the area."  

Whilst I didn't quite set up his internet, we had a long chat and discussed the best options in his area for his circumstances. Jon originally contacted me for internet but I didn't have the right package for his intended usage pattern so after talking things through, we chose his local provider who have some good deals going and will hopefully be reliable.

I supplied the phone system which he will be able to alternate between Spain and Switzerland as he wishes. Anyone ringing his number will be able to get through to him regardless of where he is in the world without any call forwarding charges to either party.

Jon can also get his free calls wherever he is in the world. Try getting that anywhere else!

I was also able to source an IPTV box, from one of my colleagues. That gives Jon all the UK channels he wants and can also be equipped with UK catch-up TV as well.

The bottom line is, I endeavour to provide a good customer experience wherever possible. Many have tried to copy my work ethic and many have failed.

What the heck am I talking about. There isn't such a thing!?

Strictly speaking, that is the case but every now and again scones, clotted cream, jam and a cup of tea comes along.

What we are doing again this year, is free phone calls on January 1st 2015 for our clients as a thank you for their continued support.

Rules of the game:

• All calls made on January 1st 2015 will be deducted from your account balance as normal.
• We will then refund all calls made on January 1st 2015 back to your account during the seven days following January 1st 2015. Those managing their own accounts will be able to see the refund on their transaction history.

Starting on the 1st April, we will be lowering our monthly line rental on standard installations from €11.98 to €9.99.

This will apply to all our existing customers currently paying €11.98 monthly rental and for all new standard installations from that date.

What are you waiting for? Our line rental and call charges are lower than just about everyone else on the market so get connected NOW and save!

Our standard pricing beats BT & Virgin in the UK and Telefonica, Direct Telecom, Spantel and Europa and many others in Spain.

Why are you paying more than you need to?

We can even integrate your existing phone line into our voip system with no extra monthly rental allowing you to easily take advantage of our rates. Typical rates are €0.007 per minute to UK and €0.012 per minute to Spain.

Yes, you read that right, less than 1 cent a minute to the UK, that's 1 hour for only 42 cents so work out how much you're overpaying with your current provider or if you'd like us to do the maths, just send a copy of your current bill and we'll do it for you - no problem.

All prices include IVA

 You could be forgiven believing that the UK has broadband in abundance from all the hype generated by the broadband companies but the picture isn’t quite as rosy as it’s painted – nothing new there then.

Who’s seen BT and Virgin Media advertising squillions of megabytes internet for ONLY peanuts. Well, it seems they’re making monkeys out of the UK public because absolutely nobody is living up to the hype.

I read quite some time ago the Virgin Media were able to provide 1Gigabit internet over their cable network. Where is it now? Just in their office? Anybodies guess.

Mind you, according to OFFCOM, they provide the fastest average broadband download speeds. They also advertise on their website speeds of UP TO 100Mbps but according to uSwitch, there is nowhere in the UK that actually gets this. Strange.  Oh sorry, yes they do; remember the magic two words – UP TO.

In fact, according to uSwitch, there is nowhere in the UK that gets superfast broadband speeds at all. Superfast broadband is classed as having an average download speed of 24Mbps or better. This seems to be in contradiction to claims made by BT in 2009 that they will give superfast broadband to at least 6 UK cities by 2010 and that 40% of the country would have access to superfast broadband by 2012. What went wrong BT? Could it be they got involved with Telefonica? Pass.

Add to this that at least 27% of the UK struggles to achieve 3Mbps. 35% of residents in Norwich are yet to see speeds of 3Mbps. So what is going on in the UK?

In London, 20% of people get speeds lower than 3Mbps.

In a survey 2 years ago, Halesworth in Suffolk was home to the slowest broadband connection at 0.128Kbps. Broadband?!

OK people, it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee. Whilst the UK government are pouring money into the broadband infrastructure to try to give it a bit of a boost, it’s acknowledged in many circles that they will never reach the proposed targets using the existing cable infrastructure.

It is acknowledged across Europe that the targets will never be met by traditional cabled broadband suppliers and that satellite internet is the ONLY answer to the problems experienced by many areas.

Enter the next generation of internet available to just about everyone across Europe, satellite internet. OK, it’s not cheap as chips, but then it doesn’t have that vinegar after taste and it does provide you with more or less what you pay for.

Speeds up to 20Mbps download are available with prices starting as low as €10.95 (£9.99 UK) a month.

So what are you waiting for, contact us today and get yours ordered NOW for prompt installation. Current offers include free equipment. Check here for more information.

Clive Gray (Enterprises) (trading as Clive Gray Computers & Premier Voip Solution) are agents for Europasat (formerly ToowayDirect).

Europasat are Europes largest independent satellite broadband internet service provider (ISP) and are the ONLY ISP that can connect you to any of the 3 next generation satellite networks ANYWHERE in Europe.

Europasat are part of the Satellite Solutions Worldwide family.

In addition to supplying satellite internet, we can also offer voip telephone systems that will work over satellite internet, many companies can't.

All registered brand names and trade marks acknowledged.

I love these other companies trying to beat us and our suppliers, their marketing blurb is absolutely fascinating.

I know some of you out there get emails from Amanda at Fortec Communications, I know I do because the make me laugh.

Well their latest missive, if you haven't already got yours, tells how you can receive payment from them for introducing new customers which is great. Perhaps I ought to take a leaf out of their book.

There is a catch though - read this offer: "A payment of 30€ per client if you introduce up to 10 new clients to us in one month and can invoice us."

See the catch - you have to be able to invoice them - how many of you are in a position to do that - anybody? Not unless you're in business anyway.

Now here's another item that made me laugh so loud, my wife wondered what was happening. One of the Fortec websites, Satbroadbandspain, makes this claim: "The only satellite broadband supplier in Spain offering packages with  unlimited download and upload at all speeds."

This, of course, is a total untruth. The only other word I can use to describe this claim is a lie. We have been doing exactly the same for over two years so I know it's untrue.

• We have been installing Tooway Satellite Internet for over two years.
• We have been installing our voip service to Tooway customers for the same period.
• We do not make claims that cannot be substantiated and that's why we're still here after more than six years in business.

In fact, pricewise, we have seen very little that Fortec Communications can beat us on.

All the marketing emails I've had from Fortec Communications contain - how can we say this - contain exaggerated claims, such as "Fast broadband internet" running at 512K - half a Meg!?! - fast!?! - not when I last checked.

So my lesson for today is:- Don't get carried away on the euphoria of claims made in marketing emails. Check what they're saying is actually true.

Just when we thought Tooway satellite internet was going well, they throw away their feather ...... and replace it with an even bigger one to go with their bigger hat.

What the heck am I talking about?????

OK, just when we thought Tooway had some good deals out there, what do they do, throw them away and bring us some even better deals.         Yahayyyyyy

Get a load of this - 26M internet (20M down, 6M up) for ONLY .............. €29.90 a month including taxes!!!!!!!!   AND, there's no 2 year contract to contend with.

If that wasn't enough, you can even disconnect at ANY time you want then reconnect it later making this the ideal system for people with holiday homes or the globetrotters out there who have two or more homes*.

This is pay as you go satellite internet for just €29.90 a month. How good is that!?!?!  I don't know anyone else who can give you an offer that comes close.

Additionally, you can currently have your 26M satellite internet and VoIP phone service installed for a paltry €169.

Why are you still reading this, stop wasting time, click here, and get yourself connected to one of the best deals around.

* You don't have to have a holiday home for this, it's just an example - YOU can have it.

We know our VoIP service works with Tooway because 40% of our VoIP clients are using it but we cannot guarantee that other VoIP providers services will. We know Vonage refuse to sign you up if you have satellite internet so we can only assume their service doesn't work. How do we know, we've just signed up a client who was refused a Vonage account for this very reason.

All brand names and registered trade marks acknowledged.

Hello everybody.

Please be advised that we are starting to get booked up for April, so if you think your PC has a problem, or you're considering taking up one of our other services then please contact us now or we may not be able to get you sorted before we go.

You might even miss out on our FREE telephone install offer available for this month only if you don't get in now! Check our Special Offer page for more details.

Please don't leave it until the last minute and miss out.

That's right, 100% discount - free - gratis - nada - nothing.

Now's the time to get your free phone installation (normally €59.95) when you sign up through us for your Tooway 26M (20M download 6M upload) satellite internet.

Never has it been easier to get connected with high speed satellite internet and a phone than it is today with installation starting as low as €169.00 + IVA. NO LANDLINE NEEDED.

Tooway satellite internet gives you a UK IP address meaning it's possible to use BBC & ITV catchup services without using a VPN or that horrible expat shield.

So why not check out our offers today and get your order in as time is limited to April installations only.

All brand names and registered trade marks acknowledged.